Fri 31 Aug 2007
I just remembered why I hate going to doctors
Posted by sandi under real life
I was sitting in the waiting room of my doctor’s office, trying to make the best of things by reading all the People magazines from the last two or three years. I hate going to the doctor, and this one had a waiting room that is so small that your knees practically bump into the knees of the person sitting across from you. People’s breathing takes up the whole space.
I was thinking good thoughts, though–you know, how a non-ostentatious waiting room is actually a good thing. It shows a doctor who’s not all about flash and bells and whistles, who’s more about the caring and the healing.
The receptionist opens the little glass window and looks at me and says in her loudest voice: “SANDRA? IS YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY THE SAME AS LAST TIME?”
“Yes,” I say. (Last time was eight days previously, when I went in for a physical.)
She then proceeds to read out all my insurance information for the benefit of the people in the waiting room. “IT’S UNITED HEALTHCARE…BLAH BLAH BLAH…SUBSCRIBER IS BLAH BLAH BLAH?”
“Yes,” I say.
“AND YOU STILL LIVE AT THE SAME ADDRESS?”
“Yes. Same address.”
Because–who knows?–maybe I might have forgotten which address I lived at last week when I came in, or perhaps didn’t remember moving, she yells out the address, complete with the town, zip code and phone number, just to jog my memory. Was even my phone number still the same?
“YES,” I say. “It’s all still the same as it was eight days ago when I was here. Insurance, address, phone number, everything.”
She regards me for a moment and then slams the window shut.
A moment later, though, she opens the window again, and this time her attention is beamed on another patient, an unhappy woman sitting next to me, who (we’d all heard) had had a CT scan the day before and had some kind of bad reaction to the dye.
“MA’AM? MA’AM? EXACTLY WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY WAS THE CT SCAN ON??”
The entire population of the waiting room burst out laughing.





September 1st, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Oh, Sandi, I can so relate. I’ve been having my own doctor adventures lately - aggressive pushy doctors and their mealy-mouth assistants who are looking for anything wrong just so they can prescribe something they can charge big bucks for. Thanks for the laugh!
September 1st, 2007 at 8:17 pm
No wonder all of us hate to go to the doctor so much. I hope you manage better than I did! I’m ready to go be a hermit.
September 8th, 2007 at 11:44 am
Oy. I have to go to the doctor day after tomorrow, I DREAD it. I know sterility in a doctor’s office is a wonderful thing, but the smell of those horrid alcohol wipes permeating every suqare inch of the place makes me feel sick from nervousness alone. Have I mentioned I am a huge baby when comes to having blood taken? It’s such an ordeal- my veins always roll after they get the needle in, or they can’t find one that’s visible enough, or they hit and miss which is always fun. Ironically, the Red Cross calls me on a weekly basis to donate blood- I know I should do it again, but last time was a nightmare. This stern looking nurse couldn’t get one drop out of arm, yet she was determined to do so- she kept wiggling the needle around and around and around in her vein of choice, in fact I feel sick just thinking about it, I finally had to tell her to stop! Ugh.
September 9th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
Oh, Samantha! I know just what you mean. It’s so easy to get worked up and nervous, especially when there are needles and rolling veins involved. HELP! I hope your appointment goes smoothly, and that they keep the vampires in the basement, far away from you.
I’ll be thinking of you!